bluebacon

I'm so exhausted. I've been at one event after another for the last month! I've had to plan, organize, set up and put together these events, dress up well, be on my feet in heels for hours at a time... Ok, I'll say it -- my feet hurt! I know there's no requirement to have to wear heels all the time but come on, who are you kidding? There are just certain outfits that look way better and more formal and professional if you have heels on.  Tonight I actually wore flats for a change. A pair of black and sparkly flats that I got specifically to give my feet a rest in between a series of back to back events, but at the end of tonight I don't think it worked. But then again, I probably decided to wear them too late. At this point I've just brutally abused my feet. Just need to survive one more week of this month then I'll get a little bit of a break before it all starts all over again.

February -- my most dreaded month of the year. This year it's particularly worse than normal even. Nevertheless time goes by and as much as I didn't want it to be this month, here we are practically halfway through it already. I just got home from Opening Night and sitting in bed feeling so much anxiety that I haven't had in a long time. I should know better by now that during moments like this one -- moments when I'm tired, exhausted and stressed out -- moments when I'm most vulnerable and defenses are down -- are also the moments when I'm most honest with myself. If I'm not feeling happy and excited despite moments like this, then I should trust my instincts and know that something's wrong. As strongly passionate as I am about arts and music, I think I need to admit that my time at the opera has reached its toll on me. I feel like such a quitter thinking about this after the field has invested in me as one to of the top future leaders in opera, but the...